Not everyone could. Everyone can.

It’s not a “poor me” story. It’s a story about overcoming obstacles that not everyone could, but everyone can.

Where it started

As a child, I went through abuse that I buried so deeply I didn’t remember it for decades. When the memories came back at 28, my world crashed.

What followed were the hardest years of my life: addiction, divorce, losing trust in almost everything I once held sacred, and moments when I didn’t want to be here anymore.

And still, I saw it as an opportunity. How could I rebuild my life into the one I actually wanted? There was no shortcut. But change and growth were inevitable as long as I kept moving forward.

The pattern

I spent years in relationships that hurt me. When I finally looked honestly, I realized I was part of the problem. Not because I deserved any of it, but because I made the choice to stay. I was trying to recreate the family I always wanted.

Later, someone I loved told me she needed a husband, not a therapist. That line burned a hole in my mind. I’d spent twenty years helping other people. I hadn’t realized what helping others was costing me, or how it let me avoid looking at myself.

Finding my voice

One day I went looking for help for someone I loved, and ended up checking myself in. In my mind I was doing it for her. In reality, I was doing it for me.

That’s where I started finding my voice. Not my voice as in speaking up for myself, but my voice as in the truth behind the lies I’d been telling myself:

That I had it all together. That I was OK. That I wasn’t selfish. That it was all someone else’s fault. And the biggest one: that fear wasn’t making my choices.

Fear was driving me about 90% of the time. If I could go back and remove one thing from my life, it would be fear.

Small, consistent changes

Even after I saw it, I kept repeating old patterns: similar relationships, unnecessary conflicts, avoidable money binds. I wasn’t doing it on purpose. The unconscious choices were keeping me stuck.

So I went after every tool I could find. I became a certified NLP Practitioner, certified in coaching through IGH3P (the International Guild of Hypnotherapy, NLP and 3 Principles Practitioners and Trainers), and a certified Trauma and Resilience Practitioner through Starr Commonwealth. I was on TV, radio, and podcasts. All of it had one goal: become the man I wanted to be.

The problem? I hadn’t even defined who that man was, and I didn’t know the first thing about becoming him. I was accomplishing a lot on the outside, but on the inside I was as hollow as I had ever been.

What finally changed things wasn’t another certificate. It was small, consistent changes. Not huge ones. Small ones, every day, and eventually they changed my life.

I also caught myself jumping to the next problem before I’d finished the last, because I was afraid I wouldn’t have enough time to fix everything. That’s why NALS works on one focus area at a time.

Why NALS exists

I was using NALS on myself before it ever had a name. I built it for people who want to change behaviors and thought patterns that are deeply ingrained, even when they no longer want them.

It starts with safety, because nobody changes while fear is driving. It’s in your own voice, because that’s how I found my way back. And it’s not a replacement for therapy or medication. It’s a wonderful addition to the support you already have.

If you’re struggling right now, you’re not alone. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) any time, day or night.